Last weekend - the weekend of the Stadtfest - Discodamaged's Jack had to miss the festivities due to an engagement at Regensburg CSD. Chantal was to be mistress of ceremonies there and Jack was chauffeur to Chantal and the entourage of four others. Click the headline for details of the queers in Regensburg, their CSD, Chantal's infamously acid tongue, her tit accident caused by Jack and more.
Jack drove the five hours to Regensburg on Friday afternoon. Chantal had not slept since the House of Shame party the night before (where, she said, a fabulous porn star had got naked in the back room) and she amused herself on the journey by drinking beer and abusing Jack's boyfriend. Luckily Jack was concentrating on driving and finding the way, so he didn't understand a word or there might have been a bigger row.
They arrived in Regensburg, tired and thirsty, checked in at the nice hotel in the town square and made a beeline for a pizza restaurant / bar next door. The tables were neatly laid out with two or four seats each. Jack started to rearrange chairs so that the six of them could get comfortable and the waitress complained in Bavarian dialect that he was destroying the neat arrangements. They are a bit Swiss in Bavaria. Chantal arrived and called the waitress a fat arsed old lesbian, there was some truth in the first bit, and at last they sat down and had a refreshing Bavarian beer only disturbed by the black looks of the restaurant manager. It was lucky there wasn't a fight or they could have all ended up in a different sort of Bavarian hotel.
Refreshed, they crossed the famous Regensburg stone bridge over the Danube (built 1135) to a lovely beer garden which Dan knew on the other side. There the service and food were excellent and there was no problem with seating. There was only one accident. Chantal was sitting next to chauffeur Jack and he managed to spill a bit of salad on her right tit. He tried to clean her up by licking it but his mouth was full of food and he just smeared goulash all over her boob. She retired to the gents (or ladies?) to clean up, he put it down to exhaustion after the drive. After dinner they returned to town and were generously entertained by Sep and other local RESI glitterati in their private Raucher bar. (Smoking allowed.)
Next day Saturday it was CSD day in the square beneath their hotel bedrooms. It all started quietly but was busy by the end of the day with about 500 people there and an endless supply of lip-synching trannies, boy bands, older bands and a comedian tranny all introduced by Chantal who was on the stage from midday to nearly midnight. The comedian tranny was pretty popular but her best joke seemed to be that Chantal was rubbish and should get back to Berlin as soon as possible. Other locals were more charming and partied with the Berliners. Bavarians are punctilious (like the Swiss) and so at the disco after-party nobody was using the disabled toilet. It was a great spot for shagging the friendlier locals. After the after-party they continued at RESI HQ, where Thomas was our favourite, and eventually Jack passed out at about 6am.
There were only three more incidents worth recording
1) Having got up after three hours sleep (Chantal was first - does she sleep?) they started on the return journey stopping for lunch with Dan's relatives. There had been much discussion before hiring the people carrier about who had a Führerschein (driver's licence). It turned that Jack was the only one and he naturally thought that Führer meant driver. When he announced to Dan's family "Ich bin der Führer", it was met with stony looks. Driver = Fahrer in modern German. Führer has evil connotations.
2) Chantal bought more beer for the return trip including a bottle of brown beer which she spilt on the crutch of her pale blue jogging bottoms. It looked like an old period was on - not a pretty sight - and photos were forbidden.
3) When Jack was taking an innocent piss in the motorway service station urinal he realised what the advert (below) in front of his face was about. Now he knows what to get his older friends for Christmas. If you don't get it, ask a German speaking friend.
And finally, they enjoyed the outing to Regensburg, fourth largest city of that other country Bavaria and once its capital and thank Sep, Dan, his Mum, Thomas, RESI and others who gave them a warm welcome. But they were pleased to get their arses back in Berlin.