Click the headline to continue reading Jack and co's slutty holiday adventures: Bob and Jack went out to the pool the next day and took in a bit of sun. Jack was fancying the tall shy young guy who was reading his book and regularly applying more sun lotion to his perfect white body when Bob on the next lounger noticed an odd spicy man smell. He realized it was the Danish piss which had dried on his body the night before. He jumped in the pool.
That afternoon they walked the 15 minutes to the beach. There is a gay beach, but it's a trek which they had done in previous years and barely worth the effort. On the beachfront there was an appalling variety of straight mingers. They really shouldn't be allowed out with their sagging man boobs and huge stomachs exposed. Another one (in the red baseball cap below) who shouldn't be allowed out, especially with a 100€, was sitting at a table beside them. Every street seller who came by got a sympathetic hearing and he bought two wrist watches and a girl's bracelet in thirty minutes. Word must have gone around the street sellers like wildfire. Luckily the view was occasionally brightened by passing totty swaggering along semi-naked. Jack snapped them all. Here's the best.
That evening after the usual sumptuous dinner Bob took a rest and Jack and Buck returned to the Jumbo centre and visited Construction and Cellar. This time they both had not so good guys: Older, fatter, hairier, softer. Jack went on to Bunker, which is accurately billed as a men only sex club and is right next to them. There was a much better quality of men.
Editor's note: You may prefer older, fatter, hairier, softer men. Clearly this is Jack's opinion only, not necessarily the view of discodamaged.
More doctors and nurses
Jack wasn't the only one to bring his ailments with him. Bob had a couple of stitches in his knee which needed to be removed. The nurses in London had said that Buck could do it with the manicure set.
Buck got ready while Bob lay palpitating on the bed. All that happened was that Buck cut off the loose ends sticking out of the wound. So they had to go and see Dr Shubbak who has a small clinic in the Jumbo centre. They found him after lunch sipping a coffee on a bench outside, showed him the offending threads and, in traditional eastern fashion, started to bargain over the price. Jack started low at 5€ and after lengthy haggling they agreed on 12.50 - quite reasonable considering that it would take about two minutes. Jack and Buck waited outside while Bob went into the consulting room.
After a short wait Bob emerged from the surgery slightly paler, without any stitches and with a smile on his face. He was closely followed by the doctor who asked for 100€ and said he had been joking about the 12.50. An enormous row started, everybody threatened to call the police, Bob was happy to pay anything, Buck confiscated Bob's money, Doc Subbak got petulant and they settled on 50€.
By the next day a routine had developed: Breakfast at 10.30 half an hour before the buffet closes, a couple of hours sunning and swimming by the pool, beer on the pool side terrace shortly after midday, lunch there or nearby, retire to bed for a siesta, rise again at 3 or 4 and perhaps do a few emails, drinks on room balcony overlooking pool at about 7, dinner about 9, hit the Jumbo centre about 11 or later, have lots of sex, take better quality stuff back to rooms, share trade, repeat until, debriefing at 4am on balconies and sleep beckons about 5am.
Comedy poolside bar
The poolside bar at Neptuno is lovely but could be lovelier. There's food around midday which works for breakfast or lunch, you can buy drinks in floppy plastic glasses to take down to the pool but the service is totally Fawlty Towers. You have to ask for everything about three times so sometimes you get three times as much as you want and you have to send it back and then, when they bring the bill, it is a complete work of fiction. They would get the wrong bits for the wrong room number, random drinks were often added and the prices of drinks fluctuated on a daily basis. By the end of our visit the staff joked before they produced the bill that it was only provisional. To make up, they gave out free wine and food. They were tipped, but not lavishly.
To be continued tomorrow. Click here for more Jack shit stories.