No, it's not quite like the pictures, but it's almost as good. Jörg Rudolf runs naked gay Ashtanga yoga classes in Berlin's Schöneberg. DISCODAMAGED sent Jack to investigate. He's hooked. It is held in a beauty salon and the receptionist smirks at you and asks you to wait. She's obviously thinking that it's a pathetic gang of gay perverts up to their usual tricks. But then the charming Jörg greets you and leads you and the others down to the changing room. "Continue reading" for more story and pictures.
In the changing room Jack was a bit confused because the other two acolytes kept their underwear on. It didn't seem very naked. Jack didn't bother to preserve his dignity and went naked straight away. They were led to the exercise room, where Jack discovered that modesty was only allowed during the 'warm up' which started by sitting cross legged and doing a yogi chant – hymn sheets provided for novices. It started with the Om word. Then all kit was off and the serious stuff started. Jörg led the company through 90 minutes of Ashtanga exercises. It's stretching, bending, controlled breathing and hard work. It's quite easy to follow even if you don't understand German and Jörg threw in a bit of English when he noticed that Jack was getting really lost. Einatmen and ausatmen are used a lot. Breathe in, breathe out. There's a lot of holding some contorted position and breathing in and out five times before you go back to the rest position, which doesn't last very long. There isn't any bodily contact except occasionally when Jörg gently presses a part of your body to get it into a more perfect yogic position. His guidance was gentle and helpful.
After 90 minutes Jack was wondering how much more he could take. The exercises concluded with bending right over backwards with your arse in the air and your cock in your face then doing a headstand. Then Jörg turned the lights down and everybody relaxed. Was this the bit that puts the gay into the naked yoga and where they all jumped on each other? No. After a minute Jack heard snoring coming from a tired co-yogist. If you can't do any of the exercises, just do your best and come back for more and learn. For example you are always given the choice to either hold your toes or, for those with less flexible backs, your shins.
Lessons are given at Ashtanga Yoga Schule, Goltzstrasse 21, Berlin-Schöneberg on Wednesdays and Thursdays 8-9.30pm. Check the website at www.nudeyogaberlin.com. Prices are very reasonable: 5€ for your first introductory lesson, 14€ for subsequent lessons, but if you buy 10 tickets at a time it's down to 10€. You should bring your own towel for wiping that sweat away.